Confused again..

This is one of those moments when I look around and I really don’t understand what’s happening.  I’ve been dealing with some really dishonest people lately.  I’m not sure what to do about them either because I can’t get a read on why it’s happening.  I’m torn because sometimes people lie out of fear.  It’s not always deliberately nefarious.  It’s a human thing versus a bad guy thing.  (Okay, bad guys are human.)

Even so, lying really bothers me.  It typically happens only once. Do it again, and you can kiss my trust goodbye.  Pretty much forever.  I do understand when there are extenuating circumstances, as with the fear issue.  You’ll probably get more than one chance if that’s the case.  But it’s not an endless thing.  Trust matters.  If you lie, then you’re not being trustworthy.  Since change is always possible (I know, no one believes me about that) you can get up the next day and choose to do better.  The problem is, sometimes when people lie, it’s self-reinforcing – particularly when their goal is to get away with and/or get something.   

Lying and usury certainly go hand in hand.  Apparently it’s okay to hate someone and say terrible things about him, and then pretend you’re his friend so that you can use something he has.  I don’t understand that.  Because it’s not as if anyone changed their minds.  Someone I know is planning a trip with another person solely because he has a vehicle that would make the trip easier.  I think taking a 3,000 mile round trip with someone you don’t like is insane.  My goodness, I couldn’t possibly travel with someone I didn’t like.  How do you keep the ruse going?  The stress from that alone would be unbearable.  There’s no way I could keep my mouth shut.  The hypocrisy would be too much.  Suffice it to say that my trip would end soon after it had begun and I’d be lucky if I was let out of the car somewhere other than in the middle of nowhere.  

Sometimes parents teach their children to be dishonest.  I know a guy who taught his son to lie, cheat and of course, steal.  Seriously.  The guy was shocked when his son did time in prison for theft, which he in turn blamed on the negative influence of our local high school.  He just didn’t connect with the fact that he taught his son to steal.  I don’t know…pot meet kettle?

Look, no one’s perfect.  We all have our issues to work on.  If we can do that and be honest at the same time, then great!  The world just works better when we all know what’s going on.  Subterfuge is destructive and adversarial.  It creates doubt that is difficult to move past.  It’s not a contest with one-upmanship as the goal.  It’s not about getting over or having the last word.  

It’s about meeting the day and everyone we encounter with honesty and integrity, irrespective of how others behave.  It’s about remaining centered and focused on all things positive, and extending those feelings to others.  Because when we present ourselves honestly in the world, that comes back to us.  I believe that it speaks to the idea that we’re all connected at some basic level.  If the human body needs to be in harmony with itself for health to exist, then so, collectively, do human beings.  Moving proactively in a positive direction is essential to rejecting dishonesty and the hypocrisy which results.  Extending love and respect to others without judgement should be effortless.

I read something that said we should forgive others and then forgive ourselves for allowing said others to upset us in the first place. So there you go.  Confusion’s gone.  Uh huh.  Still a work in progress…