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I swear if I have to deal with one more passive aggressive person today I’m going to implode. I’m at the office of one of my health care providers, and his secretary is doing her power struggle act again with me. I just want a reminder call the day before. I asked if I could be put on the call list, and it went downhill from there. She had elected to come around the reception area to hand me something to sign instead of handing it to me over the counter, and after I asked for a reminder call, she was physically standing above and over me, interrupting me and not letting me finish. Finally I got tired of her towering above me and I said, that’s okay, I’ll just pay attention to my calender. You don’t have to call me.
You see, it’s not just other people’s emotions I feel, it’s their entire quantum energy field. And I don’t do well with others towering above me if I’m sitting down. Even if they’re just relating something that makes them agitated having nothing to do with me, standing above me doing that feels crushing and I can’t breathe. So I really needed her to get away from me, or I was going to have to leave the room. Or defend myself. I did earn a Black Belt back in 1991. Pro-tip: maintain a leg and a half distance from people. It’s called keeping a defensible space. Witch/Wife-tip: never a good idea to discuss the issue with the husband hoping for sympathy. Witches don’t suffer fools well.
Days before, she contacted my husband, rescheduling his appointment to my day and claimed that this should have served as a reminder for both of us. Never mind she just got through saying she calls the day before..not days. I guess we’re supposed to just figure it out or something. Either that, or she doesn’t like me. Passive aggressive people rarely do. It’s probably a witch and/or empath thing as well. We disturb the air too much and people with issues can’t handle us. Loving, free spirited people do just fine. Now that I’m in my crone years, I’m making a concerted effort to know the difference and not take their histrionics personally, but it’s not the easiest thing to do.
I used to make a game of situations like this one, to see if I could outlast the dumbass as it were. But now I don’t. True, I do test the waters, but at the end of the day, my patience for nonsense has worn so thin that I really have given up. I’m tired of defensive people who are responsible for the situations in which they find themselves. They never see the impact of their behavior, all caught up in their own ego, and I don’t want power struggles in my life anymore. So I guess I’ll be looking for a new health care provider at some point. Or he’ll get wise and find another secretary. Or, she could get a clue and behave herself. I hope she figures it out so that I feel comfortable going there, because I really like her boss. He’s professional and knows his stuff.
Passive aggression is almost impossible to deal with in others. Passive aggressive people are like a whirlwind, full of self righteousness and ego run amok. They’re like a runaway freight train, taking out everyone in their path. Their need to control every situation is like the juggler who spends so much time keeping all the balls up in the air that she can’t see the damage her need to control causes.
The victims of a passive aggressive person, and I’m using the word victim intentionally here, are left bewildered and confused. It’s easy to buy into their game, because they seem so convincing, but it’s precisely at that moment when the victim needs to become the savvy survivor. It’s not the rest of the world’s fault that these people have the struggles they do. They potentially destroy everything around them, and it’s never their fault..it’s always the other guy who’s the problem.
If you live with one of these people, or you’re in regular contact with them, you either become quite adept at dealing with these people (meaning you know better to ever get involved on purpose with any of them), or you become insane. There really is no middle ground here. The empath part of me feels compelled to help them energetically which is a huge mistake. Empaths can get sucked into the energy of these folks, losing themselves in the process. We end up absorbing their manipulative energy and end up feeling wrung out afterwards, all because we cared enough to look, to feel in, and see what we could do to help smooth out their emotions.
The best course of action is to not engage at all, but that’s not always possible. Explaining the fallacy of their approach to them, no matter how nonthreatening you are, only intensifies the power struggle. Their passive aggressive process is so self reinforcing, that even with therapy these people continue to suffer, spreading that suffering to everyone else in their path.
It would be far easier if we could engage with them, understanding that this behavior is oftentimes born from pain, typically from childhood. But passive aggression is at epidemic proportions now, and it’s exhausting doing the dance with them. No one wants to give them the benefit of the doubt and wait for their return to sanity. We just want the games and manipulation to stop. But that’s beyond most of them, with that whole self-reinforcment aspect being stronger than any pleading with them might be. Nothing really registers because they don’t see any of this as their problem. No problem, no change. Their simplified view of things is self-serving and destructive and creates a burden that is sometimes insurmountable.
Marriages end, families are stressed, friendships and jobs lost, all because passive aggressive people are so busy juggling all the balls in the air that they can’t see the impact they have. Change sometimes comes when they’re about to lose everything. But that change is more often than not temporary. As soon as the coast is clear, bits and pieces of their behavior will begin showing up here and there, and before you know it, they’re back. It’s a comfortable place for them, all that chaos. It makes them alive, all that chaos. Unfortunately, in the process, they sabotage every relationship they have. No win situations might make them feel in control, but for the rest of us, it’s just not worth the effort.
The picture at the top is of a bindrune I created to ward off energy vampires. It combines Algiz, Eihwaz and Sowilo. Probably should have carried it with me today.
~Blessed Be
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Thank you... Jan Erickson
