Dark Moon Reflections

 

 

I prefer the dark of the moon to it’s fuller expression. Banishing negative energies, beginning anew, what’s not to love? For me, it’s a way to anchor myself to my life in a more productive way. I evidently have an undefined root center according to my Human Design bodygram. That means I tend to ground through others’ energies. It’s not as weird as it seems, but for an empath, it explains much. My incarnation cross is left angled, so I’m here for others, also an empath trait. When I see what I see and know what I know, it all happens at once, in an exploding fashion. And if I understand this right, a left angle also seems to indicate the observer, which is what an empath should be.

Women are told to assert themselves. Entire industries have been created in an effort to support this notion. And it’s not that we shouldn’t assert ourselves, we just need to understand when the timing is right for that to happen. If you’re a Generator, like me, then in order to live what they call our inner strategy, we have to wait before responding, instead of charging ahead and asserting ourselves. We may say or do exactly the same thing whether we wait or not, but it typically turns out better if we adopt a “sleep on it” approach to decision-making. Timing is the issue for any of the human design types and makes all the difference in the outcome. Generators need to sit back and wait for everything to come to them, something I find impossible.

I’ve always been the one to take care of everything, asserting myself all over the place, initiating this and that. I’m not sure how I would have done any of those things differently, but I know that when I wait to respond, I feel better about the outcome. As irritating as it is, trusting the flow of things is the way of the Generator. It’s for the Manifestor to initiate, not the Generator. Letting go of the need to do that is liberating. Life is never as difficult as a Generator makes it, and it’s okay to sit back and let others take the lead. We give up nothing in the process and life is infinitely more comfortable when we do. It’s just timing. It doesn’t mean we don’t assert ourselves, it’s only that we change the timing of it.

Something else weird happened while I was learning about human design. I read something about how we actually anchor into physical form. (Again, please forgive my interpretation of this..I’m incorporating all of it into my witch/empath sensibilities, so it’s a work in progress) Anyway, it referred to our magnetic monopole. Okay, I got excited at this one. Maybe it’s a witch thing, but I’ve always felt its existence within, that focal point creating the as above so below experience. It’s our connection between nonphysical and physical expression, our Eihwaz in runecaster speak. The monopole essentially drives us in life. But from a physical perspective, what happens when we don’t live our intended design? I noticed some things about myself that led me to a weird conclusion. I discovered when I’m initiating (not living my intended design to respond) I lean forward. In a sense, my monopole is leaning forward instead of sitting back, or staying upright if you will. Observing my posture then, I discovered that I’m far more relaxed and in control when my posture remains upright. My husband even notices the shift in my energy. Everything about me becomes calm.

Body alignment is key when doing yoga as well as martial arts, so as a Kenpo Black Belt, this made complete sense to me. I also feel more resistance in my body when I lean forward. Additionally, I’m one of those insane people who walk every day – typically eight miles. Rheumatoid arthritis has damaged my feet and I assumed that the problems I have had walking were due to that. When I stopped leaning forward, the problems I had with my feet disappeared. Leaning forward, even slightly, cause my toes to smash into the front part of my shoes, causing painful blisters and callouses that interfere with normal walking, so discovering this was amazing. It’d sure be funny if all of our problems in life were due to poor posture. It would also mean that mothers everywhere were right.

Trusting the process to unfold without my initiating input is a big one, I’ll admit. Life is a squirrels and shiny objects experience for an empath, and it’s easy to become caught up in all the interesting things happening around us, because they really are sooo interesting. It’s easy to enter the fray so to speak, to jump in and take control of things. My mind moves so quickly that it’s difficult to wait for events to unfold naturally. I see it all at once, so I want to get to the outcome now, not later, since I already know what’s going to happen. I feel the pressure to initiate, and I know I shouldn’t, but then I jump in with both feet and there it is. I’m a Generator masquerading as a Manifestor. My oldest son is a Manifesting Generator, so he can get away with it. I, on the otherhand, cannot.

So for this Dark Moon, I’ll meditate on living my design. I’ll relax into being, which is exactly how the energy of a Generator should be expressed. I’ll revel in my newly found freedom from initating, replacing it with allowing and nonresistance. And most of all, I’ll trust my life to unfold as it needs, observing the process with loving presence.

Blessings to all on this New Moon! Let Her Darkness envelop and bless you as she begins her awakening into fullness.

~Blessed Be!

One last thing..below are copies of my human design bodygram. I purchased the student version of the software, but there’s also an IPad app that’s inexpensive to get folks started. You can also go online and get a free bodygram done by someone else. It’s worth looking at, if only to learn a little about the IChing, which is really cool. But if you’re anything like me, you’ll find this endlessly fascinating. The notion that our design begins before we’re actually born and then that blends with influences at our time of birth is so interesting. Understanding the relationship between the two gives us tools to live our design strategy more effectively, so give it a look. See what you think. See if it doesn’t give you a new perspective on things.