Saturday’s Runecast relating to A Course in Miracles
To recap a bit, I began this blog last December. Over the past year or so I’ve experienced so much drama..and not of my own making. Well, I’m sure I participated, I just didn’t cause any of it. So there’s that. My landlord evicted us from our commercial space, which also ended our business. We couldn’t find a place that was within our budget and given the seasonal nature of our business, we simply didn’t feel that we could sign a lease with someone else without knowing how we would pay for it. Neither of us is irresponsible like that, so we took the burden that we’re still coping with, both financially and emotionally.
In July, my father died who was also my abuser. Six weeks later, my next door neighbor apparently thought it was just fine and dandy to send his friend over wearing a pistol in plain sight to talk about getting irrigation water on his “crop”. I had no idea who that guy was and now we don’t speak to the neighbors anymore. If my neighbor had actually done his irrigation over the years, he would know that the properties are sloped in such a way that run off will get on his property. It was why he agreed that we could put a culvert in our driveway so that the run off could irrigate the lower part of his field where water didn’t reach. Well, water could get there if they ever re-dug the ditches and actually irrigated that section, but that’s another story. So, now I’m the bad guy who apparently needs to be confronted with weapons. Needless to say, now they’re allowed only five feet from either side of my ditch and that’s it. They’re not allowed to be anywhere else on my property, especially at my front door…with a gun.
After my abuser died, his wife began sending me the bills associated with his death. I cut off contact with him over twenty years ago because I had to. The pressure became too great and I wasn’t functioning at all. So back to the bills. I’ve never met this woman. At first, she used her own name in the return address section of the envelope she used. Then, she used his. Time out for a panic attack.. okay..breathing better now. It’s as if my abuser is reaching out from the grave to abuse me some more using his wife as proxy. I haven’t responded to her. They keep coming.
And then I received a bill from a hospital with my abuser’s name on it and my address. She has evidently contacted these places and told them to send the bills to me. I called the hospital while in a panic attack – my heart raced so much I could barely breathe. They were really nice to me and they took care of changing the address back. They won’t be bothering me again. Then the helicopter service sent me a bill as well. Another call, another panic attack. They understood as well. I told them everything. I don’t go to the mailbox anymore.
I’ve worked with runes for over thirty years, but not consistently. The same is true for A Course in Miracles. Since losing our business, I’ve felt compelled to return to the study of both to find my center again. I had no idea all these other things would happen as well.
Today, I pulled Nauthiz, Fehu, and Ehwaz in a three rune spread. A three rune spread is useful when needing insight on Issue, Action and Outcome. Anymore, that’s a daily event for me…
Nauthiz refers to need or necessity. It’s the struggle to discern need from desire and the conflict that results when we choose wrongly. The Course would suggest that it’s the difference between the ego and our focus on God or source energy. It’s living along the horizontal plane instead of the vertical. The Course says that if something isn’t of God, it’s not real. So in light of the Course, Nauthiz refers to where my focus should now be..away from events caused by man and on the understand that:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
Fehu, as the action, represents the collective, or in the case of the Course, the sonship. The sonship refers to mankind. Fehu’s energy moves us from the pressure to remain with the expectations of the whole to individuality. Fehu also refers to wealth. But wealth doesn’t always mean money. Sometimes, as in my case, it refers to something more metaphorical. Abundance can also mean what we give to others. The Course continually brings us back to extension of love and unity as a means of atonement..of bringing the sonship to wholeness, again, living along the vertical rather than the horizontal plane. Fehu also talks about debt or baggage. What do we owe each other as we remember each of us is holy, and an essential part of the sonship? Removing the veil of perception is required so that the individuality Fehu speaks of doesn’t make us forget our responsibility to the sonship. If anything, it reinforces that responsibility by illustrating that true freedom and wealth is found in unity with others.
Ehwaz, the outcome, refers to trust and partnership. It’s the ultimate outcome of the struggle represented by Fehu. Mastering our reactionary emotions and behavior, and uniting with others is key to a positive outcome. It’s also key to our survival, according to the Course. It’s understanding that if it’s not of God, it’s not real, and we can all move past the hurt and the pain and bring about the atonement. We do this by seeing everyone as holy and without error. It involves not judging others, for to do that is to judge ourselves.
This runecasting is significant particularly when considering what’s happening throughout the world today. It essentially follows the three lines above. Nauthiz becomes..nothing real can be threatened..Fehu becomes..nothing unreal exists..and Ehwaz becomes..herein lies the peace of God. We must understand that the reality is we’re all one family. As such, we need each other. As we begin to see this truth as fundamental, the need for separation will will end and compassion will be a given.
And as for me.. my struggle is to see that the past doesn’t need to control my present. And that the only person who defines me is me. I’m stronger than I ever believed I could be, because I’m still here. I choose how I define myself. No one else. I survived. And that’s everything.
Excerpts from A Course In Miracles, Combined Volume. Foundation For Inner Peace. 2007
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Thank you... Jan Erickson