And They Got It All On Video..

Boundaries. We’re hearing all about them these days as disrespect toward women is in the news again. But then, when isn’t it? A brave woman walked throughout Manhattan over a ten hour period I believe, and an amazing amount of catcalls were filmed and recorded by her friend in front of her with an concealed camera in his backpack. I first read about it on Vox. Cool new website involving Ezra Klein, so you know it’s going to have great information on all kinds of things. And charts..with Ezra, we have charts we can actually understand.

But back to the matter at hand. Women weren’t surprised, I’m sure, to see what happened in that video. It’s happens to all of us at one time or another in our lives. No one is exempt. That fact alone should shame men into right behavior, yet it doesn’t. Of course someone will blame mothers for all of it, particularly single mothers. Because of course, if she could only keep a man, there’d be a father in the home to properly train the boys. Except..what about the homes where a father is present? What’s their excuse?

Regarding the video, I heard someone remark, “how do they know she’s not married, or doesn’t have a boyfriend?” My response to that was, why would that matter? Is she only off limits if she somehow “belongs” to another guy? Is she only worth respect then? Are we only safe if we’re someone’s property? Right. You’d think the goal of all women is to become chattel. Fortunately, the individual in question immediately realized the implications of the comment, and understood my point. But it speaks to how ingrained this is our lives. Someone who believes this type of behavior is disrespectful and who would never do it in a million years automatically went to the, “if she’s taken, she’s off limits” attitude without even realizing it.

Well guess what. We’re off limits no matter what. If men can’t address us with respect, they they can go away. We don’t need this. We never did. No one has the right to intrude on another’s space without permission. It doesn’t have to get complicated. If you don’t know a woman who is walking down the street, and nothing bad is happening to her, then leave her alone. She doesn’t want to speak to you. She doesn’t want her attention diverted to a bunch of crap coming out of some idiot’s mouth who should know better. If men think this endears us to them, they’re wrong. It doesn’t. It just makes them look pathetic. Which evidently some of them are.

But that doesn’t have to be the case. It is possible to behave respectfully toward others. We all know how to do it. Let go of the entitlement you feel. Let go of the “it’s all about me” attitude. Understand that we’re all trying to get through the day without dealing with a bunch of bullshit, so stop adding to it. Instead of bothering women, how about watching out for them? It sure would be nice to be able to feel safe out in public, knowing that there are people on your side out there. Instead, we face a veritable minefield of harassment.

You who do this..you look ridiculous. Your mothers would be ashamed of you. Knock it off.

 

Here’s a link to the article from Vox: Yes, unsolicited compliments are street harassment